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You’ve got to hand it to the Daily Star. While their Big-brother-Z-List-celebrity-hyped paper is not always the most newsworthy, it certainly throws up some of the more amusing stories.

Today, they claim that Bruce Willis is set to play commentating legend Murray Walker in a film about the life of Michael Schumacher - inventively titled “The Michael Schumacher Story”.

I don’t know what is more laughable - the thought of Bruce Willis donning spectacles and getting overexcited everytime a puff of smoke appears at the rear of a car (even if it is tyre smoke)… or the prospect of a film about the life of Michael Schumacher.

While Schumacher is without doubt one of the greatest drivers F1 has known, his career wasn’t always the most exciting - and given the fact that Schumacher is purported to be involved, it is unlikely that the more controversial aspects of his career will be highlighted.

Schumacher drove in a period in F1 where his superiority was rarely challenged. If you were to make a true life film about “modern” F1, you’d probably make it during the 1980’s, where you had Senna, Prost, Mansell, Rosberg (Sr), and Piquet (Sr) all fighting for wins, and some of the real characters such as Gerhard Berger.

None of this will come to fruition, except possibly as a made for TV film, and while Murray did comment for the whole of Schumacher’s career, he was not always the greatest supporter of the German.

The main reason Willis has been linked to the role, is simply that he is probably the most famous aging bald actor in Hollywood. Apparently “an insider” claims that in glasses, Willis looks very much like a young Murray Walker. This is forgetting the fact that Walker was not a young man during the Schumacher period.

Formula One’s politician has now threatened that the future of the Australian Grand Prix is in doubt unless the organisers agree to run the race at night in the future.

Bernie Ecclestone often makes threats like this - the British Grand Prix at Silverstone is regularly under the axe, but FOM have only once actually carried out one of its threats, dropping the Belgian Grand Prix from the 2003 calendar. However, this was more to do with commercial rights for tobacco advertisers than any indication that the circuit (one of the best in the world) was not up to par.

Night races are an unknown commodity in F1 - this year sees the first one in history, held at Singapore. The biggest concern is of course, safety. In an enclosed arena where it can be easily floodlight, safety is not so much of a problem - for example, NASCAR often have been holding night races since 1978, despite the fact that like F1 cars, NASCAR don’t have headlights. However - it would simply not be practical at a circuit like the old Hockenheim to place floodlights, as 80% of that circuit was out in the woods.

The old Hockenheim is a prime example of why you shouldn’t do night races - in 2000, it saw a protester marching down the side of the track after scaling the surrounding fences - a job that would no doubt be easier in the dark.

The idea of holding night races is so that they can be screened during prime-time television in Europe. My interest in F1 has waned over the last few years so I no longer wake up at 4am to watch the ‘flyaway’ races in Australia, Japan and now China (and Singapore this year).

This year’s Australian Grand Prix start was also delayed by 90 minutes so that it started at a better time for the Asian market. However, I doubt that an hour and a half would make a noticeable difference to the Formula One fan - only to the TV schedules - delaying the start means that the race falls into a more lucrative TV slot, meaning FOM can charge the advertisers more.

Despite being a global sport, the focus of F1 is still in Europe. The majority of the teams are based in England (even ‘Team Force India’), the majority of the drivers are European and the majority of the races are also held in Europe.

FOM have tried to address that balance, by introducing more ‘flyaway’ races, but I don’t think we’re in any danger of seeing a switch to holding night races in Europe any time soon to provide more convenient TV scheduling for the Asian market. The problem with any global sport, is that it’s always 5 o’clock somewhere, so F1 races will always be held when there is maximum revenue to be made.

With my new car arriving on Friday, I’ve spent this lunchtime sorting out the most important thing…

What song should be the first to be played on the stereo?

The past two cars I had were inducted with Bohemian Rhapsody (an idea nicked off Wayne’s World), so maybe it is only right that the TT should be the same… however I have compiled the following Shortlist on my iPod, currently ordered by artist:

• Girl From Lebanon (Europe)
• Superstitious (Europe)
• Prisoners in Paradise (Europe)
• I’ll Cry for You (Europe) - probably not this one, it’s an acoustic track
• Sucker (Europe)
• The Final Countdown (Europe)
• Layla (Derek & The Dominos) - Although this gets boring towards the end, it’s the main riff I like
• You know my Name (Chris Cornell) - Probably more suited to a Ford Mondeo :p
• Dude (Looks Like a Lady) (Aerosmith)
• Captain Crash and the Beauty Queen from Mars (Bon Jovi)
• Demolition Man (Def Leppard)
• Money For Nothing (Dire Straits) - although mainly for the drum intro - the TT stereo is not the best, and probably wouldn’t have the acoustics to do this justice
• Paradise City (Guns N Roses)
• Numb/Encore (Linkin Park/Jay-Z)
• She’s a Little Angel (Little Angels)
• Too Much, Too Young (Little Angels)
• Young Gods (Little Angels)
• Ten Miles High (Little Angels)
• Solsbury Hill (Peter Gabriel)
• Hot Fudge (Robbie Williams)
• No Easy Way Out (Robert Tepper) - from Rocky IV, where Rocky is driving in his car
• Real Gone (Sheryl Crow) - An early leader, this is the main title theme from Pixar’s ‘Cars’
• Look But Don’t Touch (Skin)
• Unbelieveable (Skin) - originally by EMF, but the Skin cover rocks more.
• Jump (Van Halen)
• It’s all about the Pentiums (Weird Al Yankovic)
• Truck Drivin’ Song (Weird Al Yankovic) - probably not appropriate as I’m not driving a truck
• Play That Funky Music (Wild Cherry)
• Legs (ZZ Top)
• Sharp Dressed Man (ZZ Top)

Then again, I think the first drive will be without the stereo - there is a reason I went for a 3.2 litre engine… it sounds so sweet.

So Bo-Rhap or new song? what a dilemma…

In what is probably the most exciting season of Formula One since the 80’s, it is great to see the media actually spending some time covering the sport, as opposed to noting what colour socks David Beckham is wearing during training for LA Galaxy…

Not to be outdone with ITV bagging britains last F1 world champion, Damon Hill for their F1 commentary, the BBC have managed to catch up with Britain’s last-last F1 World Champion Nigel Mansell (presumably in the 19th hole of his golf course). Never one short of an opinion Mansell has commented that Button is ‘past it’, and that McLaren should not have allowed the spat between Alonso and Hamilton to become public.

Pot… Kettle?

Nigel Mansell was 39 when he won the crown, after spending many years in a very competitive car. Granted his failure to win the world driver’s championship was not always his fault, but when he did win it, he won it in a car which was way ahead of the field, not just ‘competitive’ as the BAR-Honda was.

I’m not comparing Button to Mansell, in fact I would say that Mansell was the better driver than the much-overrated Button, but for Mansell to criticise Button for not winning the world driver’s championship when he was driving a car that eventually placed 3rd in the constructor’s championship is a bit far-fetched.

Button’s faith in the Honda team must be very stretched, especially when the Williams car that he burnt bridges to leave is probably the 4th best on the grid. If he had stayed with the Williams team, he could be pushing for podiums, not languishing behind the ‘customer’ Honda team. But at 27, I’d say his career is far from over. He needs to do a lot of work to restore his reputation before any of the front-running teams would look at him again.

The BBC does have a habit of jazzing up stories and stretching the context in which they are written, so perhaps I am being hard on Mansell’s comments, but I think the point he is trying to make can be summed up in this one comment:

But he was far better years ago than he is now because he was hungry then.
He’s got a great reputation for partying and that’s taken the edge off it. He’s a typical example of too much, too soon.

And that I’d agree with - Jenson needs to get the eye of the tiger back.

As for the McLaren tiff - Was it not Mansell who was very public when he was not happy with the team, or his teammate? even alleging in his autobiography that when he was teammates with Alain Prost at Ferrari, his car was switched with Prost’s, because for some unknown reason his car was faster. Mansell the one who announced his departure from the Williams team (and Formula One) in 1992 at a press conference, even before consulting the team?

Well, I’m getting to the point where I have to sell my old car to make way for my new one.

It’s quite a sad experience, to be honest. My current Beetle is the first car I have actually bought with my own money. Every penny of the loan was paid for by me, and when I finally finished paying for it, I had a huge sense of acheivement.

I’ve loved Beetles for many years, ever since seeing “The Love Bug” as a child, and while some might have questioned the use of a car instigated by Adolf Hitler in a children’s movie, the truth is that it is a unique design. (An interesting side-note is that it was designed by Ferdinand Porche).

The New Beetle, again a design classic. While it will never have the longevity of the original Volkswagen (as Wayne and Garth might compare it - “It’s like Star Trek, The Next Generation. In many ways superior, but would never be as recognised as the original”) it is still a unique car that turns heads.

With the arrival of my Audi TT only a few weeks away, I’ve had to start preparing the car for sale - fixing all those little things that you put off. An eBay bargain saw me get a new set of floor mats (I’d worn through the originals), and I’m looking at getting the myriad of dents sorted. My only concern is the high mileage on the car compared to many others on the market. I’ve driven my car pretty much every day, whereas for some the Beetle is a luxury car - one only to be used on the weekend.

It’s quite sad to see it go, but now I’m fretting over the new one: Did I choose the right colour?

I chose red as the first Mark 1 TT I really liked was in red, but I’ve seen many Mark 2 TTs in Black - and it looks very mean…

Too late to change now though - apparently it arrived at the dealership at the end of last month.